Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Let's Talk Skyrim Mods (Part 3)

I originally only planned to post one article on Skyrim mods, but that had to be expanded into two parts because it was a little too long to remain as just one post. And then I figured, since I made "part 2," I may as well go ahead and make a "part 3." So just for the hell of it, "part 3" shall be a list of my favorite absurdly-stupid Skyrim mods. In this article: absurd, ridiculous, hilarious, "wtf," lore-breaking Skyrim mods. Only the best, and only my favorites. (None of that "my little pony" nonsense.)

Be sure also to read the more serious Part 1 and Part 2 of this (apparent) series on Skyrim mods. 

#12. Fall of the Space Core, Vol. 1 | Workshop

This mod was made by Valve to commemorate the launch of the Steam Workshop. continuing the trend of putting Portal stuff in other games. As far as I know, there's not much use for the Space Core -- he just talks in his usual way. Cute and amusing, if nothing else, but I have to wonder what "Volume 1" is supposed to mean. Is there going to be a "Volume 2" at some point?

#11. Every Day I'm Dovahkiin | Nexus

This animation mod replaces the NPCs' idle animations with dancing, fit to turn every moment of your epic adventuring into an epic dance party. Every day they shufflin'. Props to the guy who made the video for using a "Reanimate Corpse" spell at the start, in true form to the original music video

#10. Macho Dragons | Nexus

Replaces all of the dragons with Randy "Macho Man" Savage. If you haven't heard of this one, then you must live under a rock or something. Not much else to say, really -- the video is self-explanatory. 

#9. Laugh Track | Nexus

A studio audience laughs at all of your sad and pathetic failures in Skyrim. Only works for failed alchemy mixtures, failed lock-picking, trying to use a depleted magic staff, and on death. Would be nice if they could laugh at you some more, like when your attacks whiff, or if you get disarmed. But a great way to destroy your immersion nevertheless.

#8. Super Mario Death Sound | Nexus

Sick of dying on world 1-1? Then start eating all the shrooms you can find, cause you'll need the extra lives. Also, some of those mudcrabs remind me vaguely of goombas.

#7. No Spiders - Piderman Dition | Workshop | Nexus

Spider-Man, Spider-Man, terrifying all of Skyrim. Spins a web, catches Nords, he does not even need a sword. Look out! Here comes the Spider-Man. Replaces all spiders with Spider-Man, intended to make the game less scary for arachnophobes, but this is probably equally terrifying. 

#6. Lusty Argonian Maid Teaches One-Handed | Workshop

These books are part of the vanilla game, but due to their cunningly subtle use of innuendo, a modder decided to make it so that reading these books increase your one-handed and two-handed weapon skills. As he explains: "one handed refers to reading the book with one hand while slaying dragons, two handed refers to reading the book with both hands while relaxin."

#5. Project P.E.W. | Workshop

Clearly the most epic audio enhancement mod you will ever need. Guaranteed to increase your archery pwnage skills by 500%. 

#4. Majora's Mask Moon | Nexus

If you weren't terrified enough by the Spider-Man mod, how about that creepy-faced staring-at-you-while-you-sleep moon from Majora's Mask? Now all we need is a Happy Mask Salesman to give you a quest to retrieve all of the Dragon Priest masks. (Note to self: make that mod.)

#3. Posh Mudcrabs | Workshop | Nexus

If you're tired of everyone in Skyrim being covered in dirt and wearing cheap rags for clothes, then you'll want to infuse your game with some style and sophistication by putting top hats and monocles on all of the mudcrabs. The only thing it's missing is lines of dialogue like "TALLY HO CHAPS!" when it attacks, or "Well, I say..." when he gets hit, or "Cheers, guvna" when it dies. (Note to self: make that happen.)

#2. Zoidberg Mudcrabs | Nexus

Everything benefits from the inclusion of Dr John D Zoidberg. Now you can have Zoidberg in your Skyrims (or can you?), thanks to this epic mod that retextures all of the mudcrabs to look like Zoidberg, while adding several authentic lines of his dialogue from the show. There's also a version that improves the meshes to make it look exactly like him. (Seems the mod is "under moderation" at the Nexus, status unknown.)

#1. Swearing Mudcrabs | Nexus 

Apparently mudcrabs are the best thing in Skyrim. I guess that should come as no surprise, really. This one is just so perfect, sure to improve your Skyrim experience. 

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